sean hofmockel stares at things

by sean hofmockel

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these are just songs. that's all they are.

for friends and former lovers
or acquaintances and coworkers just the same
random people i've met and those who keep me sane:

each of you has given me inspiration
may i now do the same
i love you all
lay awake at night only to sleep more soundly
you are the best thing that's ever happened to me


released November 14, 2016

ruroni kenshin
gone with the wind
lionturtle records



all rights reserved


sean hofmockel San Diego, California

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Track Name: it is morning i am awake yet the lights won't turn on
did they take your drugs away?
did they put you on some new ones?
sober today,
fuck the mottos and the symptoms til i'm alone
tired and sad so i get high
now you're gone so i get high
she never loved me i get high
tired and sad i get high
i get high
i get high

and if i can't help it
can they lock me away?
i can't help my fucking self if i don't have a place to stay
i'm too drunk to drive home so i lie
can't fight depression i wanna die
Track Name: staring at things
on a page next to a picture of a bong that i once drew
is where i wrote down the words of what i think of you
it may seem kind of funny but to me it felt so real
now i'm tired of your name and the emotions that i feel
so if you have suggestions please keep them to yourself
you are not the cause of this lapse of mental health
i'm just a drunk, pothead pant-wetter
because of you i want to get better
Track Name: a heart and bones
he is a heart and bones
tired of being alone
sad sorry existence
tragic waste of space
heartbreak is written all across his face
so he sits
and he pines
and time passes him by so he cries

6 beers and toast with breakfast
bong hits still in bed
nothing's really happening so he makes it up in his head
so it's not pathetic, just depressing instead
Track Name: when i said "i love you"
back of my car
love you tender
shooting stars
sweet surrender

i want to be alone
my days are numbered i should be on my own
please stay in touch, come and see my next show
what if i don't want to be in the know?
he broke my heart i'll never love again
good thing we're still such close friends
good thing we're still such close friends
i'll never love again
Track Name: peace and quiet
i'm trying my damn hardest can you wait a few more seconds
it's been a shitty week i'm feeling ever so dejected
sure it's great to know i'm breathing, but sometimes it's not enough
gotta bust my ass and put in work to prove i'm up to snuff
Track Name: something
in time we will blot out things that are unhealthy
i didn't know that cigarette ash could stain
now more alone for i received the gifts of friendship
and i just threw them all away

you'd think i'd learned the first time
of weeks without the sunshine
for once it feels like real pain
for once it feels like something
Track Name: sweatshirt
so this is living
these are feelings
very interesting
so i wait
what else should i do?
my hearts been cut into exponentially growing functions

did you bring my sweatshirt?
did you get a beer?
Track Name: parting words to a dear friend
em, i guess i'm done
i guess it's over for "us"
you maybe don't know what to say
i don't blame you, shit and dirt is just my way
i'm sorry i made you feel weird
i'm sorry that i am strange
i'm sorry that i am crazy
fuck that i'm deranged
i'm not all that you saw in me
Track Name: goodbye
don't know where i'm going to
don't know what i'm gonna do
know i'll be much happier once i don't have to think about you
you're a kind woman with a kind heart
i knew that from the very start
i'm just some guy who's drunk
unused noose in my trunk

sit over the freeway
because i had a shitty day
come down go get a drink
wasn't gonna jump anyway

i love you
thank you
Track Name: its night i am sleepy the voices keep singing they won't let me sleep
oh hey darling
sweet sweet darling
oh i love you so

so please my darling
sweet sweet darling
don't you ever go

i feel like letting go
i don't love you
i can't love you
i don't love me
i don't love anything
i don't love anything